


Asleep

by Corseted (anroisin)



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dark, Gen, Hospitalization, M/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-23
Updated: 2014-07-23
Packaged: 2018-02-10 02:00:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2006718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anroisin/pseuds/Corseted
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm tired, and I want to go to bed. Kakashi/Sasuke if you squint.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Asleep

**Author's Note:**

> As originally posted on August 12, 2012: 
> 
> "Song referenced is Asleep by The Smiths. 
> 
> Wow. So I forgot I wrote this. 
> 
> It was right after I got out of the hospital, in April. I think I wrote it while waiting for my ride after the IOP program. I think I like it. I also think it might be related in some way to NLMG, but it's a very early draft if it is and they're more like distant cousins now. This can stand alone. 
> 
> So yeah."

_Sing me to sleep. Sing me to sleep. I’m tired, and I want to go to bed._

Sasuke is tiny and childlike on the bed, dark eyes vacant, pale, chapped lips moving soundlessly. Kakashi knows what he’s mouthing, though. He’s been singing it for days, accompanied by the lilting of the piano. 

_Sing me to sleep. Sing me to sleep. And then leave me alone._

All the color has drained from his face, leaving him a physical shell. Raw and little and broken. There is nothing on his face, no expression, no tears. They’ve long since dried. 

_Don’t try to wake me in the morning, ‘cause I will be gone._

There was betrayal at first, and rage, when Kakashi pulled him out of the bathtub and forced him to breathe. Screams and sobs and fists, fingers clawing at his chest and teeth sinking into his neck, words howled like a wild thing-- _let me die, you fuck, you let me die_ \--but gradually it all faded. 

_Don’t feel bad for me. I want you to know--_

Kakashi isn’t sure whether this silence is better or worse. 

_\--deep in the cell of my heart, I will be so glad to go._

It’s after three in the morning. They’ve been in the emergency room since before ten. A nurse came in and took Sasuke’s blood and urine--stood right outside the bathroom door while he pissed and wouldn’t let him lock it, just in case. Sullenly, Sasuke shoved the container in her hand and stomped back to his bed with a force Kakashi wouldn’t have thought possible, considering he was all of a hundred pounds in a wet t-shirt and wearing hospital socks. Then he flopped over on the mattress and curled up, glaring holes in the wall. 

_Sing me to sleep. Sing me to sleep. I don’t want to wake up on my own anymore._

The next few hours were broken up with nurses checking Sasuke’s vitals, bringing more warm blankets and a menu in case he wanted to order dinner. Kakashi asked for a pitcher of water when Sasuke’s lips turned pale, but he refused it. It still sits, untouched, on his bedside table. 

_Deep in the cell of my heart, I really want to go._

The hospital psychiatrist, a large-busted blond with hard, hazel eyes, came at a little after midnight and asked Sasuke a series of questions he mostly answered with grunts. Kakashi ended up taking most of the weight--”he’s not on any medication, I don’t believe he’s using drugs, he tried to drown himself in the bath, I’m not related--” the woman, Tsunade, bit at the skin around her thumb, a frown marring her face. 

“I’ll take a look and see where there’s a bed open,” she said, writing something on her clipboard. Sasuke stayed staring at the wall. “He’s obviously not stable enough to go home.” 

Kakashi nodded, and the nurse left, turning off the lights with the instruction that they should both try to get some sleep. 

Sasuke didn’t seem inclined to follow that advice, so Kakashi didn’t either. An hour or so after she left, he rested his hand on the bed, next to Sasuke’s hip. Another hour after that, and slim, chilled fingers locked around his. 

Neither of them said a word. At around two, Sasuke started to mouth. 

The lack of sound is pronounced and sharp. Kakashi didn’t take it seriously when it was being voiced, and the thought makes his stomach twist. 

“Why did you stop me?”

The sudden, raspy words startle him, and he jerks his head up to look Sasuke in the face. Underneath the hollowness, there’s a shade of misery that hits Kakashi where it hurts. 

He remembers that face, hollow and scared and just a little bit hopeful, framed by rain-wet hair and his body shivering. 

“Because I promised not to let anything happen to you,” he answers, after a moment. Sasuke continues to stare at him, flickering between anger and something softer. 

“I hate you,” he offers, but there’s no venom in the words. His eyes close, and Kakashi reaches forward with the hand that’s not entwined in Sasuke’s and tucks the blankets closer over his shoulder. 

“I know.” He watches Sasuke settle back into the pillow and exhale. “Go to sleep.” 

“Sing to me,” Sasuke whispers, and the corner of his lip twitches up in a wry smile. 

Kakashi wants to hit him. He smooths dark hair out of Sasuke’s face and kisses his forehead instead. 

It’s long after the rising and falling of Sasuke’s chest evens into slow sleep-breathing that Kakashi nods off in his chair, hand still clasped around Sasuke’s.


End file.
